


The Finest Thing That I've Done

by waveryder



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: And Freaks Out, ColdAtom Week, ColdAtom Week 2017, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Leonard Snart has one (1) feeling, Leonard and Ray are practically married already, M/M, Olicity (background), Steelwave (background), they just haven't realized it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 19:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11043027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveryder/pseuds/waveryder
Summary: Leonard looks at his roommate in surprise. “You told your ex-girlfriend, who is engaged, that you have a boyfriend?” Ray nods. “And now you have to show up to dinner with this boyfriend?” Ray nods again.“So, tell me, Raymond,” Leonard drawls “who is this mystery boyfriend?” His tone is meant to tease, but then Ray sits up straight and stares right at Leonard.“You,” Ray says, softly, but Leonard hears it.





	The Finest Thing That I've Done

**Author's Note:**

> Coldatom Week Day 3: Fake/Pretend/Secret Relationship

Leonard doesn’t know what he was expecting when he walked into the apartment, arms full of groceries, but it certainly wasn’t his roommate pacing around the living room muttering to himself like a madman.

 

Ray’s eyes snap to meet Leonard, and Leonard is sure they’re about to fall out of Ray’s skull.

 

“What’s going on?” Leonard asks, placing the bags on the dining table.

 

“I made a mistake,” Ray rushed out.

 

Leonard nods. “Yeah, sounds about right. What did you do?”

 

“Felicity just called me. She’s getting married.” The frantic energy leaves Ray and he plops right on the couch.

 

“Felicity… your ex girlfriend?” Leonard asks, leaning against the table. When all he gets is a nod from Ray, he continues. “What did you do?”

 

“She’s coming to Central City, with her fiance.” Ray leans back, allowing the cushions to swallow him whole. His head rolls to the side and catches Leonard’s eyes. “And I panicked.”

 

“Raymond, what did you do?” Leonard asks, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

“I told her I had a boyfriend,” Ray says. “And now she wants to have dinner, so she can meet him and personally invite him to the wedding.”

 

Leonard looks at his roommate in surprise. “You told your ex-girlfriend, who is engaged, that you have a boyfriend?” Ray nods. “And now you have to show up to dinner with this boyfriend?” Ray nods again.

 

“So, tell me, Raymond,” Leonard drawls “who is this mystery boyfriend?” His tone is meant to tease, but then Ray sits up straight and stares right at Leonard.

 

“You,” Ray says, softly, but Leonard hears it. “Len -”

 

“Nope,” Leonard says, turning to walk into their kitchen.

 

“Len - Leonard - _please_ ,” Ray says, scrambling off the sofa to follow Leonard.

 

“Raymond, no,” Leonard says, taking items from the grocery bags and placing them in the cupboards.

 

“But it won’t be for long! Just while they’re here, for dinner,” Ray reasons. He reaches to take a box from Leonard’s hand, but Leonard snatches it away.

 

“And what about the actual wedding, hmm? You expect me to play along then, too?” Leonard snaps, perhaps placing cans on the shelf a bit too forcefully.

 

“No, by then I can say we broke up!” Ray says. “This will work, Leonard.”

 

Leonard braces himself on the kitchen counter, hands gripping the edge. He intends to put his foot down, a firm _No_ at Raymond’s request. But when he finally looks up at Ray, he’s met with big brown eyes filled with hope and a little desperation, begging Leonard for his help.

 

“Why did you even tell her you had a boyfriend?” Leonard asks.

 

“I _panicked_ , Len, and you know I like guys so -”

 

“No, that part is fine, I just don’t understand the lie,” Leonard says, keeping any and all judgement out of his voice.

 

Ray sighs, and walks back to the living room, falling onto the sofa yet again. Leonard follows close behind, sitting at the opposite end.

 

“It’s been three years,” Ray says, staring up at the ceiling. “three years, and she’s already getting married. I haven’t even really dated in those three years. How pathetic is that?”

 

Leonard scrunches up his face. “Raymond, there’s no time limit to when you should be dating or not.”

 

Ray just shakes his head. “I haven’t dated because _I’m not over her_.” He leans forward, resting on his knees. “Felicity was the first girl I fell in love with after…”

 

“After Anna,” Leonard finishes, softly.

 

“I just need her to see that I’m okay, that I’m doing just fine,” Ray says, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I need her to know that I’m not still thinking about her in that way.”

 

Leonard sighs, casting his eyes upwards, throwing out a silent prayer for his sanity.

 

“Okay,” he says, causing Ray to perk up.

 

“Yeah?” Ray asks, hopefully.

 

“Yes, okay, I’ll do it,” Leonard concedes, pressing himself back against the couch. Suddenly he’s wrapped up in big, strong arms, holding onto him tightly.

 

“ _Thank you_ ,” Ray says, face pressed to Leonard’s shoulder. Leonard stiffens at the contact, and Ray quickly pulls back. “Sorry.”

 

Leonard smooths down his shirt and tugs at his jacket.

 

“It’s fine. So, how do we do this?” Leonard asks, relaxing against the sofa cushions.

 

“It’s just dinner,” Ray says with a shrug, “I figure, a few hours of hand holding, bickering, and a couple affectionate pet names should do the trick.” Ray smiles, sunny and bright, with a glint in his eyes.

 

“Pet names?” Leonard asks, cautiously, and Ray drops his smile.

 

“We don’t have to, I guess,” Ray adds, and Leonard really hates that he’s incapable of denying Ray anything.

 

“I’ve just never been a big fan of pet names,” Leonard admits. “I’ve never really… felt close enough to anyone to use them.”

 

Ray’s eyes soften, and he nods. Leonard doesn’t like the shift. It’s not pity etched on Ray’s face, there’s never pity, only acceptance and understanding.

 

“Let’s just play it by ear, okay?” Leonard says. “See what the situation calls for.”

 

Ray seems satisfied with that, the smile making its was back on his face, and Leonard can’t help but offer a small smile of his own.

 

“Alright, when is this happening?” Leonard asks.

 

“Next weekend,” Ray says, running his fingers through his hair, a nervous gesture. “She and Ollie are co-”

 

“ _Ollie_?” Leonard drawls, raising an eyebrow at Ray.

 

“Oliver, yes,” Ray sighs. “He’s got friends of the family here, so they're visiting.”

 

Leonard just hums. “Well, you have a week to decide if you want to show up with me on your arm, or if we’ve broken up by then.”

 

Ray just huffs out a small laugh. “I think I’d rather show up with you on my arm.” He winks at Leonard before getting up to go to the kitchen.

 

Leonard rests his head back on the sofa, and scrubs his hand over his face.

 

_This is going to be fun._

 

[...]

 

“Last chance to change your mind,” Leonard says, slipping on his navy blue blazer.

 

“Not really, considering we’re about to meet them for dinner,” Ray says, fiddling with his hair in Leonard’s bathroom mirror. He quickly turns to face Leonard, who is looking over himself in his own full length mirror. “Unless you’re having second thoughts, and you don’t want to go through with it.”

 

Leonard glances at Ray through the mirror, taking in his frantic appearance. He rolls his eyes, and walks over.

 

“It’s fine, Raymond,we talked about this,” Leonard says, reaching up to fix Ray’s hair. “All week, you’ve been asking me if I want to back out, and all week,” he finally tames Ray’s messy mop, “I’ve said, I do not.” He looks at Ray, still seeing the nerves dancing in Ray’s eyes.

 

They had been preparing all week, sort of. They’ve known each other long enough that there wasn’t a need to divulge childhood stories or come up with a story about how they first met. Ray was all for fabricating some fake lovey dovey romance story, but Leonard told him it would be easier (and more believable) if they stuck to the truth. It was just as common as any other way someone would meet their significant other. Try telling Leonard that Ray bumping into him and spilling his coffee isn’t the stuff rom-com movies are made of.

 

They agreed on keeping it simple, just enough casual touches, to make it believable.

 

“Wait,” Ray says, breaking Leonard away from his thoughts. “We haven’t kissed.”

 

Leonard freezes, eyes pinning Ray down.

 

“Are we going to need to kiss?” Leonard asks.

 

“It might come up?” Ray says, offering a shrug. He notices the panicked look on Leonard’s face. “But we can avoid it! Let’s just stick to hand holding.”

 

And Leonard should let it go, take the out Ray has just given him, but he doesn’t.

 

“No, we should probably get that out of the way,” Leonard says, instead. “In case we do have to kiss, and we won’t be caught off guard.”

 

Ray looks marginally surprised.

 

“Are you sure? I know this whole situation is weird enough already, and kissing isn’t gonna make it any less weird, and I totally understand if-” Ray is cut off by a pair of soft lips on his own. He makes a small noise in the back of his throat, but quickly melts into the chaste kiss.

 

Leonard doesn’t do much more, just presses his mouth to Ray’s, but Ray moves his hand to Leonard’s neck and presses a bit harder. Leonard can’t handle that, the room is already ten degrees hotter than it should be, and his chest feels tight. He pushes away from Ray, hands on the man’s broad chest.

 

“Sorry,” Ray says, sheepishly. “I got a little carried away. S’what happens when you don’t date for a couple years.” Ray tries to laugh it off, but fails.

 

“It’s okay, Raymond,” Leonard says. “At least we’ll be believable.”

 

Ray nods his head and walks out of Leonard’s room without another word, leaving Leonard feeling awkward and a bit out of place. _That_ was not supposed to happen. Leonard licks his lips, still feeling that phantom press of Ray’s mouth lingering on his. He shakes his head and follows Ray out into the living room.

 

“I guess we should head out,” Ray says, grabbing his jacket.

 

“Where are we going, exactly?” Leonard asks, picking up his drawl.

 

“That new fusion place that just opened up,” Ray says.

 

“The place that’s booked for the next six months?” Leonard asks skeptically. “Cisco’s been trying to take Lisa there since it opened. Who is this guy?”

 

“Oliver has… influence,” Ray says, keeping his tone neutral. “He’s a good guy, just doesn’t know what to do with all that money.”

 

Leonard doesn’t say anything, opting to keep his opinions to himself. He doesn’t want to upset Ray, since the man seems to hold no grudges.

 

“Well, let’s go, we don’t want to keep Mr. Moneybags waiting.” Leonard pats Ray on the back and grabs his keys.

 

Ray just rolls his eyes, locking up behind them as they leave.

 

[...]

 

“Ok, let’s do this,” Ray says, getting out of the car. He spent the entire time in the passenger seat chewing on his thumbnail, leg bouncing up and down with nervous energy.

 

Ray smoothes out his deep red button down and pulls at his jacket, and he tries to move forward, but his legs won’t move. He’s still, looking at he restaurant in front of him, thinking about sitting at a table with Felicity and her _fiancé_.

 

He’s brought back to earth by a hand slipping into his. Ray looks down and notices Leonard standing right next to him, grasping his hand, sporting a small, supportive smile.

 

“Come on, it’s showtime,” Leonard says, pulling Ray with him towards the building.

 

Leonard can see Felicity through the glass of the entrance, holding onto the arm of a tall, blond man - _Oliver._ He feels Ray squeeze his hand, so he squeezes back.

 

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine,” Leonard says, before they walk inside. “It’s just dinner, and then we can break up. I’m not giving you back that snow globe you brought me from your trip to D.C., though. That’s mine.”

 

Ray laughs, genuinely, his smile reaching his eyes.

 

“Thanks,” he says, and moves to open the door.

 

The place is packed, people sitting at the bar, others waiting to be seated. There’s a steady beat playing in the background, mixing with the low hum of voices overlapping one another.

 

“Ray!” Felicity greets, walking up to hug him. “It’s so good to see you. And you must be the boyfriend.” She side steps Ray, and extends her hand to Leonard. “Felicity Smoak.”

 

“Leonard Snart,” he drawls, keeping a charming smile on his face. They shake and his eyes land on Oliver.

 

“Hi, Ollie, it’s good to see you again,” Ray says, shaking Oliver’s hand.

 

“You, too, Ray. It’s been a while,” Oliver says. He turns his attention to Leonard, and grins. “Nice to meet you, Leonard. Oliver Queen.”

 

After all the hand shaking and greetings, they are taken to their table.

 

“How long have you had this reservation?” Ray asks. “I know this place is booked solid for a few months.”

 

“Oh, I just called this morning,” Oliver says, simply. “They managed to fit us right in.”

 

“So you _bought_ your way in?” Leonard says. “Or was it just a casual name drop?”

 

“ _Leonard_ ,” Ray hisses. Leonard doesn’t apologize just sits himself down at the table. “I’m sorry, Ollie.”

 

“It’s alright,” Oliver says, chuckling. “I’ll admit, the name Queen carries a bit of weight, but I assure you, no palms were greased.” He winks - _actually fucking winks_ \- at Leonard.

 

Ray gives Leonard a look, and Leonard almost feels bad. _Almost_.

 

Once drinks and dinner are ordered, Felicity clears her throat, cutting through the somewhat tense silence.

 

“So, Ray, how come you never told me you were seeing anyone?” she asks, hands clasped together under her chin.

 

Ray sees the engagement ring shine on her finger, and his mouth goes dry.

 

“Well, I mean, we haven’t really spoken in a long time,” Ray says. “I just never thought to bring it up.”

 

She grins and her eyes dart between the two men. “So, how did you two meet?”

 

Ray opens his mouth to say something, but no words come out. He gapes at her like a fish for a moment, before Leonard steps in.

 

“Would you believe he ran into me at a coffee shop, and spilled both our coffees all over me?” Leonard asks, humorously.

 

“Yes, I can,” Felicity chuckles. Ray blushes at their words, accepting his fate as World’s Clumsiest Man. “How’d it happen? Ray didn’t give me much info when we spoke on the phone. Now’s my chance to give you guys the third degree.”

 

Leonard waves his hand, “I actually enjoy telling this story.” He looks at Ray, silently asking permission to go on. Ray nods once, letting Leonard know it’s okay.

 

“I was on my way to work, of course, and I just wanted my first dose of caffeine,” Leonard says, playing it up, adding inflection to his words. Felicity nods, amusement painted on her face as Leonard speaks.

 

“I should have known, really, because before he bumped into me, he’d bumped into a table.” Leonard places his hand on Ray’s forearm and squeezes gently. “I had just paid for my coffee, I turned around, and there I was with iced coffee down my shirt.”

 

Ray lets out a soft laugh, remembering the event.

 

“He was so mad,” Ray says. “I thought I was gonna get punched in the face.”

 

“You might have, if it weren’t for the frantic look in those big, brown eyes of yours,” Leonard drawls, and he leans in, pecking Ray on the lips. Ray’s eyes widen a bit, slightly stunned that Leonard would initiate a kiss, and so soon, too. “It was really adorable.”

 

“Wait, so, when did this all happen?” Felicity asks. “Ray, you’ve only been in Central City for a few years.”

 

“It happened the first month I was here,” Ray says. “And the reason I was so _frantic_ ,” he looks pointedly at Leonard, “was because I had to find a new place to live in a very short amount of time.”

 

“So, you went from disastrous first meeting, to living together?” Felicity raises an eyebrow at both of them.

 

“Oh, no, after that encounter, seeing Raymond again would be too soon,” Leonard teases. He still has his hand on Ray’s arm, and it feels warm and heavy. “But we just kept running into each other. It was something out of cheesy, Hallmark made for tv movie, really.”

 

“One day, I kinda broke down during another chance encounter,” Ray admits. It was true, Ray and Leonard had crossed paths yet again. And Ray was at the end of his rope. “I was overwhelmed, and panicking. I had just started at Star Labs, and I already had a big project to work on, and this guy was just as rude and snippy as ever. So, I let him have it.”

 

“And by ‘let him have it’ he means he yelled at me for being mean,” Leonard interjects.

 

“ _I yelled at you_ because you were rude and kicking me when I was down,” Ray says, looking a bit hurt upon remembering that encounter. Leonard notices, and his face softens.

 

“I do feel bad about it, love.” Leonard has his arm over the back of Ray’s chair, sitting close, so he reaches up and plays with a bit of Ray’s hair. Ray shivers at the contact, but quickly relaxes into the touch.

 

“Anyway, I know it seems like a leap, but after that...” Ray looks at Leonard, calculating. “I don’t know, it was different.” Ray’s tone of voice changes, to something soft. It makes something in Leonard twist.

 

He pulls away, removing his arm from Ray’s chair, and sitting properly in his own. Ray makes a face at the sudden shift, worrying he’s done something wrong.

 

“I told him I was also looking for a place to live, since my best friend slash roommate decided he wanted to move in with his partner,” Leonard says. “And, yes, I know it sounds like a drastic switch, but Raymond is right. It was definitely different. I felt different.”

 

“We found a place pretty quick, and the rest is history,” Ray says.

 

Felicity makes a wild gesture with her hands. “That’s it? Don’t leave me at the edge of my seat! How did you two officially get together?”

 

Neither of them say anything for a moment, but Ray glances at Leonard and decides to speak up.

 

“It was a gradual thing, I guess,” Ray says, now slinging his arm over the back of Leonard’s chair, although he doesn’t get as close as Leonard was. “We thought it was a huge mistake moving in together. We are complete opposites. We had to put up with each other’s quirks, learn to compromise. But that’s what a relationship is, isn’t it?” He looks at Leonard, who is looking down at his glass of water, swirling his finger around the rim.

 

“Yeah,” Leonard says softly. “One day I just kissed him to shut him up, and when he pulled me in close, I knew we were going somewhere.”

 

“Aww! That’s so sweet! Isn’t that sweet, Ollie?” Felicity says gripping his arm.

 

“Adorable, really,” Oliver says into his wine glass, a small smile on his face.

 

Leonard doesn’t have the energy to be annoyed by Oliver anymore. A lot just happened, things were was said that carry so much weight that hangs heavy between them now. Leonard feels suffocated. He hopes the shift isn’t obvious, hopes that Ray can’t discern the meaning behind his words.

 

He doesn’t get a chance to ponder too much, because their food arrives. Leonard and Ray are grateful for the interruption. Ray quickly changes the subject, asking about Oliver and Felicity’s engagement, making conversation about anything other than Ray and Leonard and their pretend relationship.

 

“I can’t wait you guys to come to the wedding,” Felicity says, as they stand in front of the restaurant. Dinner went better than expected, and they managed to make it through without slipping. In fact Ray was certain they oversold it.

 

“We can’t wait either,” Leonard says.

 

They part ways, with hugs and handshakes, and Ray and Leonard walk back to the car. They sit in silence for a few moments.

 

“I think that went well,” they both say at the same time.

 

They chuckle, but it’s loud in the quiet of the car.

 

“Thanks, Leonard. That was really hard, seeing Felicity again,” Ray says softly. “But with you being there, it was easier.” Ray smiles, eyes full of gratitude.

 

Leonard returns the smile, and quickly defuses the somewhat heavy situation.

 

“I didn’t cross the line, did I?” Leonard asks. “I _was_ laying it on a bit thick.”

 

Ray shakes his head, and softly says, “You were perfect.”

 

Leonard _yearns_ to lean in and place a kiss on Ray’s lips, to pull him in and never let him go. But he doesn’t, he can’t. This is pretend, a one night arrangement. The clock has struck midnight, the magic has worn off, and they’re back to being just roommates, just friends. No more kisses, no more soft touches, no more leaning in close. Leonard takes a deep breath and starts the car.

 

At least it’s over.

 

[...]

 

It’s far from over.

 

“ _Raymond_ ,” Leonard warns. They’re watching Shark Week reruns, and Leonard would really like it if Ray would shut up, and not mention Oliver and Felicity.

 

“She just wants to do things with another couple. She and Ollie don’t know many back in Star City, and the ones the do know are stuffy friends of the family,” Ray says.

 

Felicity has informed Ray that they would actually be staying in Central City for the rest of the week, and that she thought it would be the perfect opportunity to get together and have a couple fun double-dates.

 

“ _Raymond_ ,” Leonard drawls.

 

“ _Leonard_ ,” Ray pleads. “Just for the week, and only when we’re around them!” Ray makes his eyes as wide as possible, and Leonard is _weak_. He rolls his eyes and lets out a frustrated noise.

 

“Fine, but only _one_ double date,” Leonard says. “Where do they want to go?”

 

“Felicity suggested we just have a night in,” Ray says, carefully, not wanting to upset Leonard any further. “She wants to get to know _us_ better.”

 

“Don’t you think we divulged enough at dinner?” Leonard snaps. “You said it was just gonna be dinner, and now you want to play house? This is going to get out of hand.” Leonard knows how he sounds. His voice is harsh, but he just can’t do this again. Dinner was a hurdle, and he’s barely coming down from that.

 

Ray’s shoulder slump and his face droops.

 

“You’re right,” he says, dejectedly. “I’ll tell her we aren’t free. They’ll be gone by the end of the week anyway.” Ray reaches for his phone, but Leonard, suddenly feeling like the world’s biggest asshole, stops him. He places his hand over Ray’s, and laces their fingers together.

 

Ray jumps at the intimate gesture.

 

“I guess we should get a little domestic before they come over,” Leonard says.

 

“Really?” Ray asks. “You’ll really do this?”

 

Leonard nods, rubbing his thumb over the back of Ray’s hand.

 

“You’re the best friend I could ever ask for,” Ray says, sincerely.

 

“Yeah, I am,” Leonard teases. He releases Ray’s hand and grabs his phone and keys. “I gotta go see Mick.”

 

“It’s 9 o’clock at night,” Ray says, watching Leonard head for the door.

 

“He needs help with something, you know how Mick is,” Leonard says, and leaves the apartment without another word.

 

He calls Mick, but it goes straight to voicemail.

 

“Mick, I don’t care if you’re sleeping, or fucking Nate, I’m coming over,” Leonard says, getting into his car. “And if you don’t answer the door, I’m breaking in.” He hangs up and tosses his phone onto the passenger seat.

 

Leonard grips the steering wheel, and takes a couple deep breaths. He manages to pull himself together long enough to drive to Mick’s.

 

[...]

 

“Mick, open up,” Leonard says, knocking on the door. “I was serious, I’ll break in. Actually…” Leonard reaches for the numbers on the door, lifting one of them to reveal a spare key. “Gotcha!”

 

He opens the door, only to find Mick and Nate in a compromising position on the couch.

 

“Leonard!” Nate yelps, falling off of Mick and onto the floor.

 

“Snart, what the fuck?” Mick growls, zipping up his pants. Nate grabs his shirt and holds it over his chest.

 

“Relax, boys, it’s nothing I haven’t see before,” Leonard drawls, strolling right into the apartment. “Remember Lisa’s halloween party last year.” He smirks at the memory of finding Mick and Nate in the bathroom, clawing at each other: Mick dressed as a fireman, and Nate as Indiana Jones.

 

“I gotta find a new place to hide that key,” Mick grumbles, sitting upright on the sofa.

 

Nate pulls up his sleep pants and puts his shirt back on, getting up to sit on the couch next to Mick.

 

“Dude, what the hell?” He says, glaring at Leonard but he doesn’t find it the least bit threatening.

 

“I called, Mick didn’t answer. I knocked on the door, no one answered,” Leonard says. “I could’ve been injured or dying, and you two are busy humping each other like horny teenagers.”

 

“But you were neither of those things,” Nate says, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“What do you want, Leonard?” Mick asks.

 

“I have… a problem,” Leonard says. “It’s Raymond.”

 

“What he do this time?” Mick asks.

 

“He asked me to be his boyfriend,” Leonard sighs.

 

“Dude, that’s great!” Nate says enthusiastically. “I mean, I know you’ve been pining after the guy, and living with him like that must suck. What made him do it?”

 

“Nathaniel, I’m going to need you to stop talking,” Leonard says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

Mick just stares at his best friend. “He asked you to be his boyfriend? This is a bad thing because...?”

 

“Because it’s all pretend,” Leonard says. “Felicity is in town with her fiancé, and Raymond didn’t want to see her and admit he’s still single.” He sees the look on both their faces. “I know, I know, but he says he panicked. We went to dinner with them a couple nights ago, and things got a little… intense.”

 

“So you’re having feelings?” Mick smirks, and Leonard just scowls at him.

 

“I’m _feeling_ like Raymond is being a massive pain in my ass,” Leonard says.

 

Nate snorts. “I think the problem is he’s not anywhere near your ass.” Leonard shoots him a look. “Shutting up.” He raises his hands in defense.

 

“They’re coming over for a couple’s night. We have to be _domestic_.” Leonard says the word like it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. It’s not that he finds the idea repulsive, he’s just never seen himself as the domestic type, not with anyone else.

 

“You already do everything a normal couple does,” Nate interjects, and starts counting on his fingers. “You grocery shop together, go to the movies together, you even go to Ikea and pick out your furniture together.”

 

“We’re _friends_ ,” Leonard says. “We hang out.”

 

“You also bicker like an old married couple, you yell at him to take better care of himself when he stays late at Star Labs,” Mick continues. “You _care_ about him, Leonard, more that just a friend.”

 

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Leonard says, ignoring Mick and Nate. “This is all fake, just until they leave. Felicity invited us both to the wedding, but Ray and I agreed to ‘break up’ before then.”

 

Mick just hums, and walks over to where Leonard is leaning against the wall. He clasps a hand on Leonard’s shoulder, and looks him dead in the eyes.

 

“You’re an idiot, and you need to sort this out somewhere _other_ than here,” he says and turns Leonard towards the door. “Please, leave.”

 

Leonard snorts, not offended by his friends actions.

 

“Fine, but the next time I call, answer,” Leonard says, opening the door. “I may have seen this,” he waves a finger between Mick and Nate, “before, but that doesn’t mean I want a season pass.” Nate sticks his tongue out at Leonard, before Leonard walks out the door and down to his car.

 

Once inside, he rests his head against the cool window.

 

He’s going to regret everything later, he knows it.

 

[...]

 

Ray is rushing around the apartment, cleaning, getting things ready, when Leonard walks in through the door.

 

“You’re home early,” Leonard says, hanging his keys on the hook by the door.

 

Ray stops putting clean dishes away, and stares at Leonard.

 

“Felicity and Oliver are coming over tonight, remember?” he asks.

 

“Yes, I remember,” Leonard says. How could he forget? He’d been agonizing over it for the past two days.

 

“Well, I just want to make sure everything is perfect,” Ray says, finishing up the dishes, and moving around the living room, not knowing what else to do.

 

Leonard sees the anxiety in Ray’s eyes, and he feels for the man. He’s about to spend an evening with the woman he thought was going to love him for the rest of his life, someone he could build a future with, like he was going to with Anna. An entire evening with her _and her fiancé_. Ray doesn’t hold what happened against Felicity, he’s made that very clear, and he and Oliver are on good terms. It’s Ray’s forgiving nature, his willingness to put himself in other people’s shoes to gain understanding, that makes Ray such a genuine person. It fills Leonard with something warm.

 

Ray is still pacing around, grabbing things and placing them somewhere different, fussing over small things. It’s all done in a panic, like he’d just rather set the place on fire and call the whole thing off.

 

Leonard can’t stand by any longer.

 

“Hey,” Leonard says, walking up to Ray, but Ray just keeps moving around the room.

 

Leonard rolls his eyes, and grabs Ray by the elbow, getting his attention.

 

“ _Hey_ ,” Leonard says, gently. “What’s the matter? It’s just a couple drinks, here, in the safety of our home.” _Home_ . The word feels heavy on Leonard’s tongue, like suddenly it means more than just where they live. It sounds nice, sounds _right_.

 

“I know,” Ray says, finally slowing down. “I know, I just want everything to be perfect, and I don’t want it to seem too much like a bachelor pad.”

 

Leonard actually laughs at that.

 

“Raymond, since when had this place _ever_ looked like a bachelor pad?” Leonard finally lets go of Ray’s arm and glances around the room. “Besides, you’ve done a pretty good job at making this place look homey.”

 

Ray has. There are flowers in a vase on their dining table, and Leonard can see a couple new picture frames placed around the room, housing photos of Ray and Leonard together, on various trips. Leonard never realized they went to so many places together. The photos actually look like they could be a real couple. Leonard feels his chest tighten.

 

He turns his attention to the couch, and raises an eyebrow.

 

“Are those throw pillows?” he asks, pointing to the plush pillows sitting on the sofa.

 

“Yeah,” Ray says, grinning.

 

“When, and why, did you get throw pillows?” Leonard asks picking one up. They aren’t horrible, just simple and plain, the beige matching well with the muted gray of the sofa.

 

“You don’t like them?” Ray asks.

 

“I didn’t say that,” Leonard says, placing the pillow back on the couch. “I just don’t get all the fuss. Are you trying to impress them, or…?”

 

Ray scratches the back of his neck. “Maybe? I don’t know, I want to make sure they buy that we’re a couple.”

 

“We did fine at dinner,” Leonard says. “I think we’re doing okay.”

 

Leonard walks away, his eye catching one picture in particular, placed on the shelf above the television. It was taken at a concert; Leonard had surprised Ray with tickets on his birthday, and even though Leonard wasn’t a fan of the artist, or crowds, he took Ray. In the photo, Ray has his arm slung over Leonard’s shoulder, and he’s leaning his head against Leonard’s. He’s sporting his signature sunny grin, eyes filled with glee. It’s a stark contrast to Leonard’s small smile and soft eyes.

 

They are opposites, but they fit together, just like in that photo, perfectly slotted. Leonard looks around the room, their home looking lived in and inviting. He sees the photos of them together scattered around the room, noticing how many there actually are, and how close they look to be in every one. Leonard tears his eyes from the photos, and walks to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

 

He grabs a glass from the cupboard and fills it from the pitcher on the counter. He downs it in one go, and places the glass down. He grips the counter and takes a few deep breaths.

 

He can do this, he can get through one more night of this fake relationship. He can pretend to look at Ray like he hung the stars. He can pretend to fawn over Ray, being affectionate and close. He can do this… because he’s not pretending.

 

He thinks of Nate’s words, how they do everything together. He thinks of the photos and the memories they evoke. The trips they’ve taken, just the two of them. Leonard doesn’t know when he started falling for Ray, maybe it was like Ray had said at dinner. It was something gradual, like water wearing down a cliffside, carving grooves and smoothing edges.

 

_This is bad._

 

Leonard needs to snap himself out of this. He cannot - _will not_ \- entertain the idea of he and Ray possibly being together. For one, the man is clearly not over Felicity, and even if he was, there is no way someone like Raymond would want to be with Leonard, romantically. Leonard isn’t good at romance, or relationships. He’s closed off and can be cold, harsh and unable to communicate his feelings properly. He’s got a laundry list of issues he’s never worked on, and any experience he has with dating or relationships is limited to short stints with less than desirable people. Even then, those weren’t relationships, they were _situations_ Leonard put himself in to forget. Forget about his past, forget about how fucked up he is.

 

Leonard knows who he is, what he’s worth. He may be successful, and intelligent, but those things can’t hide the fact that Leonard is a mess. He’s insecure, and he feels caged in when offered any kind of intimacy.

 

Except when he’s with Raymond.

 

When Raymond gets close, smiles at him, or touches him casually, Leonard doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t immediately pull away, or lash out. He welcomes the familiarity, the affection, no matter if it’s platonic.

 

“Okay, I’m gonna go shower and change before Felicity and Oliver get here,” Ray calls out, shaking Leonard from his thoughts.

 

Leonard supposes he should too. He’s in for a long night.

 

[...]

 

They’re all sat in the living room, drinking wine (whiskey for Oliver), and chatting away. They’re swapping stories, Ray is filling Felicity and Oliver in on what he’s been up to during his time in Central City, and they in turn tell him about what they’ve got going on.

 

Felicity has made herself comfortable on the floor, sitting with her legs criss-crossed, leaning against Oliver’s leg. Ray has adopted a similar pose, sitting on the floor in front of Leonard, who is on the loveseat, in between his legs. Everyone is relaxed, content, letting the wine settle in their heads.

 

“Enough about us,” Felicity says, turning towards Leonard. “What do you do, Leonard? I realized we never talked about that at dinner.”

 

Leonard is about to speak up, when Ray interrupts him.

 

“Leonard is a _genius_ ,” he says. He looks up at Leonard, his cheeks a bit flushed from the wine. He smiles, sweetly, and places a kiss to the side of Leonard’s jean clad knee.

 

Leonard blinks down at him, barely affected by the miniscule alcohol he’s consumed. He smiles back, and his hand immediately goes to Ray’s hair, threading his fingers through it and rubbing softly. Ray hums and rests his head against Leonard’s leg.

 

Felicity is looking at them with soft eyes, as she loops her arm around Oliver’s leg and hugs it close. She’s also got a shine to her eyes, and some color on her face, and she’s a bit giggly.

 

“Ray, shush, let him speak,” she says, swatting in Ray’s direction. “Go ahead, Leonard.”

 

“I, uh,” Leonard starts, but Ray has moved his hand to Leonard’s knee. “I’m a structural engineer, I work over at Maxwell and Schaum.”

 

“Leonard graduated top of his class,he even graduated early,” Ray says, singing high praise. He’s looking at Leonard adoringly, like he’s the sun, and it makes Leonard itch.

 

He shifts and takes his hand back from Ray’s head, the contact becoming too much, causing Ray to frown at him. Ray just removes his hand from Leonard’s knee, and moves away a bit, not wanting to make Leonard anymore uncomfortable than he already looks.

 

Leonard needs to remain strong. Ray is taking this a bit too far, but maybe it’s payback for dinner. For the kiss and calling him _love_. Maybe Ray is laying it on just as thick as Leonard did, playing it up for Felicity and Oliver. That’s what they’re supposed to be doing, anyway, right?

 

“Oh, Maxwell and Schaum?” Oliver asks. “I know a few guys over there. Very prestigious.” He tips his glass at Leonard in salute.

 

Leonard doesn’t want to like Oliver, but he and Ray still get on great, no bad blood between them, despite their history. Leonard wishes he could feel some animosity towards Oliver, but he can’t. Not when Ray is grinning at him, and being nothing but friendly towards the other man.

 

Leonard just nods back at him.

 

They talk a little more, and Leonard notices how stiff Ray is now, sitting between his legs. There’s tension in his shoulders, and he’s not as smiley as he was a bit ago. Leonard takes a deep breath, places his wine glass on the table next to the loveseat, and moves his hands to Ray’s shoulder, pressing and messaging. Ray only give a tiny jump at the sudden contact, but quickly melts with a groan, head falling forward, giving Leonard permission to continue.

 

“That feels great, honey,” Ray sighs. Leonard pauses for a split second, but lets the endearment wash over him.

 

Ray then grabs one of Leonard’s hands and brings it to his lips, pressing delicate kisses to it.

 

Leonard accepts it, relaxes into it. He might as well, he’s spent the entire evening giving conflicting reactions, when Ray has done nothing but play the part.

 

“Well, I think it’s time we head out,” Oliver says, placing his glass on the coffee table. “Don’t you, sweetie?”

 

“I don’t know, Ollie, we’ve had a lot to drink,” Felicity says, staring at her wine glass.

 

“If you guys need to stay the night, you can,” Ray says automatically. Leonard’s eyes widen.

 

“Raymond, _love_ , I’m sure they’d like to get back to their hotel room,” Leonard says, his jaw tight.

 

“Yeah, I don’t think -” Oliver is cut off by Felicity pinching his calf.

 

“I think that’s for the best,” she says. “We can drive back to the hotel in the morning.” She smiles at the three men in front of her.

 

Leonard and Oliver share a look, and Oliver just shrugs.

 

“Great, we have the spare bedroom you can use,” Ray says, and Leonard feels his breath catch in his throat. Ray turns up to look at Leonard. “Why don’t you go get it ready?”

 

“Only if you come and help,” Leonard says, before detaching himself from the sofa and Ray’s body. Ray gets up and follows him into the hall.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” Leonard hisses. “Spare bedroom? What spare bedroom?”

 

“I was thinking yours, actually,” Ray says, like it’s the obvious answer. “No offense, but it already looks like it could be a spare, and if they spend the night we can’t exactly sleep in different rooms.”

 

“You mean, you want me to sleep in your room?” Leonard asks, slowly not sure he’s fully understanding what Ray is doing. “With you?”

 

“Yeah,” Ray says. His eyes are becoming clearer, sobriety settling in at Leonard’s words. “Is that not okay?”

 

Leonard rubs his forehead, and lets out a small groan.

 

“Raymond, they were perfectly fine to go home, we could’ve called them a cab, anything,” Leonard says.

 

Ray’s face droops, and Leonard can see the regret on his face.

 

“Shit,” Ray says, “Shit, oh my god, Leonard, I’m sorry. It just slipped out. I thought maybe it would be one last gesture, for our relationship -”

 

“ _Pretend relationship_ ,” Leonard almost growls.

 

Ray blinks at him and shakes his head a bit. “Yeah, our pretend relationship. I just thought - okay, it’s fine, I’ll just tell them they can’t stay.”

 

“No, you can’t do that, that’s very rude,” Leonard sighs. He wants to be upset, but right now he’s just tired. “I’ll see what I can do to make my room look less lived in.”

 

“I don’t think that’ll be hard,” Ray snorts. “You don’t have a lot in there anyway, and it’s not like they’ll be going through your drawers or closet.”

 

Leonard just rolls his eyes. “Just go back out there and entertain them while I get this ready.” He directs Ray back to the living room while he figures this whole thing out.

 

Leonard manages to stow away any personal items he has lying around. Ray’s not wrong, Leonard doesn’t keep clutter, and his bed is always made. He changed his sheets the morning of, so that doesn’t have to be done. He’s a bit unsure about having strangers in his own room. Ok, very unsure. Ray trusts them though, so Leonard supposes he could too, tentatively.

 

“Okay, room’s made up,” Leonard says, walking back into the living room.

 

“Great!” Felicity says, getting up off the floor. “Uh, I need something to sleep in.”

 

“I guess I could lend you something?” Ray asks.

 

“Yes, please!” she says, sweetly. Oliver just chuckles and shakes his head.

 

Ray comes back with one of his shirts and pair of sleep shorts.

 

“You’ll probably be swimming in these,” Ray says, humor in his voice. “Ollie, do you need anything?”

 

“No, he sleeps in his boxers,” Felicity says.

 

“Oh,” Ray says, not knowing how to respond to that.

 

Ray shows them to “the guest room” and she tugs on Oliver’s arm, signaling him to follow her inside.

 

“Goodnight, you two.” She calls out, throwing Ray a wink, before she shuts the door and Ray wanders back into the living room.

 

Leonard is clearing the glasses and random trash from the coffee table, taking it all into the kitchen. He’s moving around with purpose, a bit forceful in his movements. He’s irritated, frustrated, and thinking about how he now has to spend the night with Ray in his room. He sticks the dishes in the dishwasher, and maybe he slams the door a bit too hard.

 

“Leonard?” Ray says softly, from the kitchen entrance.

 

Leonard doesn’t answer, just finishes cleaning up. Ray watches, waits for Leonard to be done, but when he is, he just brushes past Ray, into the hallway, and into Ray’s room. Ray follows close behind, fretting the entire time.

 

“Leonard,” Rays tries again, walking into his room.

 

“Shit,” Leonard says.

 

“What’s wrong?” Ray asks.

 

“Where do I begin, Raymond?” Leonard snaps. Ray startles a little, jumping slightly, eyes wide.

 

Leonard quickly softens and holds his hands up.

 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I just… I forgot to get clothes from my room.”

 

“I - I can lend you something,” Ray says, quietly, going to his dresser.

 

Sleeping in Ray’s room, in bed with him, wearing his clothes. This is something Leonard has thought about, at least once, and he would gladly welcome the opportunity. Now, though, it’s different. This is not on Leonard’s terms. He’s being forced into this, and it’s not how he wanted to feel when spending the his first night with Raymond.

 

Ray gives Leonard an old, soft henley, and a pair of flannel sleep pants. Leonard takes the items, eyeing them.

 

“I know you don’t like showing your arms,” Ray says nodding at the shirt he gave Leonard.

 

Leonard’s heart skips a beat. Raymond remembered, and accommodated Leonard, responded to his needs.

 

“Thanks,” Leonard mutters, quickly disappearing into Ray’s bathroom.

 

He places the items on the countertop next to the sink, and closes the toilet seat lid, sitting down on it. He rests his head in his hands for a moment, collecting himself.

 

_Raymond_ . Kind, considerate, careful Raymond. Leonard is at odds with himself, he’s frustrated and having _feelings_. He knew this would get out of hand, that he would regret everything. Yet, there’s a part of him that’s giddy and excited, because he gets to sleep next to Raymond, possibly closer than expected. He tries to squash that down, reminding himself that this isn’t real, it’s pretend. Felicity and Oliver will be leaving in a couple days, and then he and Ray will go back to normal. Leonard hopes.

 

Leonard gathers himself and quickly dresses. Ray’s clothes hang off his frame a bit, Leonard not being as broad as Ray, and they smell a bit like Ray, like his detergent. It would be intoxicating if Leonard wasn’t having a hard time processing at the moment.

 

When he emerges, Ray is dressed for bed already. He’s in a tight black tank top, and loose grey sleep pants. Leonard can see every muscle on Ray’s arms and shoulders. It’s nothing he hasn’t seen before, but everything is different, here, in this room. It’s tense and awkward, and Leonard has a feeling it’s his doing. He can’t just accept this, roll with it, no. He has to think, and overthink. Why is he like this?

 

“Which side do you prefer?” Ray asks.

 

“Whichever one you don’t sleep on,” Leonard says, plainly.

 

Ray nods and get in bed, on the left side. Leonard follows, slipping under the comforter they must share. The bed is big enough that they don’t need to get too close, much to Leonard’s relief as well as his disappointment.

 

Ray turns off the bedside lamp, and they both lay there, in the dark. It’s quiet, until Ray speaks.

 

“Leonard -” Ray starts.

 

“Raymond,” Leonard cuts in. “Please, everything is fine, let’s just go to sleep.”

 

Leonard doesn’t wait for Ray to respond, he just turns over, his back to Ray, and closes his eyes. He doesn’t hear Ray say anything, but he can almost see how big and shiney Ray’s eyes are. Leonard wants to kick himself, but instead he lets himself drift off to sleep.

 

[...]

 

Leonard doesn’t know how long he’s been asleep for, but suddenly he’s being woken up by Ray, tossing and turning.

 

Leonard grumbles and turns to face the other man. He’s intent on being grumpy, but he notices Ray is still asleep, his face scrunched up.

 

_A nightmare_.

 

Leonard doesn’t do anything at first, but when he hears a pitiful whimper leave Ray’s mouth, he quickly sits up and grabs Ray’s shoulder.

 

“Raymond,” Leonard says, gentle but firm. Ray doesn’t wake, so Leonard tries again, shaking him a bit. “Raymond, wake up.”

 

Ray’s eyes shoot open, as he wakes with a quiet, startled cry, and his hand flies up to meet Leonard’s. Ray looks around the room frantically, and Leonard finally remembers to speak.

 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It’s just me,” Leonard says softly, into the darkness. When Ray releases his hand, he loosens his grip on Ray’s shoulder, and starts rubbing soothing circles with his thumb over Ray’s sleep warm skin.

 

“Leonard?” Ray chokes out.

 

“Yeah, it’s me, you’re okay,” Leonard soothes.

 

Ray sucks in a shuddering breath, and Leonard sees something slip down Ray’s cheek.

 

“Oh, Raymond,” Leonard says, sliding back down so he’s lying next to Ray. Leonard can’t help himself, he reaches over and wipes the tear from Ray’s face. Ray doesn’t flinch at the touch, but leans into it, a soft noise escaping his throat.

 

“Shh,” Leonard hushes. Ray looks at him, and quickly comes back to reality. He pulls away, realizing how close he is to Leonard.

 

“S-Sorry!” Ray says, inching away. “I didn’t mean to wake you, I just, uh.” Ray doesn’t bother finishing his sentence.

 

“Raymond,” Leonard says, tone soft and gentle. “It’s okay, it was just a nightmare.” He can feel Ray trembling under his fingers, so he decides, fuck it, and tugs Ray close.

 

“Come here,” Leonard says, pulling Ray to him. Ray doesn’t even resist, on the contrary. He can’t get close enough to Leonard. It makes Leonard’s heart clench.

 

Ray curls up to Leonard’s side, still unsure how much he can touch. Leonard guides Ray’s arm over his middle, resting it there. Ray takes the hint, allowing himself to cuddle closer, resting his head on Leonard’s chest.

 

“I _am_ sorry, Leonard,” Ray says, voice small and quiet.

 

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s over now,” Leonard whispers, bringing a hand to Ray’s scalp. He runs his fingers through Ray’s hair, massaging his head.

 

“No, I mean about this whole night,” Ray says. “I shouldn’t have invited them to stay, I shouldn’t have even invited them over. This was a mistake, I’m sorry, I-” he stops, choking on his words. _God_ , Leonard feels like such a dick.

 

“Hey, no, _I’m_ sorry,” Leonard says. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you, this isn’t your fault.” Leonard feels Ray press his face into his chest even more, but the other man doesn’t say anything.

 

“Do you have nightmares often?” Leonard asks, and Ray nods against his chest. “How come you never told me?”

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Ray mumbles.

 

“Of course it matters,” Leonard says. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so scared.”

 

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Ray whimpers.

 

“Okay, okay,” Leonard says, hushing him.

 

They stay like that for a while, Leonard running his fingers through Ray’s hair, and Ray sniffling into Leonard’s chest. Leonard starts to feel Ray relax, his breath evening out. _Shit_. Leonard didn’t plan to fall asleep with Ray tucked into his side, but he can’t pry the man off. He won’t do it.

 

Leonard sighs and gets comfortable, which isn’t difficult. Ray is solid against him, and Leonard can feel Ray’s body heat through the thin fabric of his shirt. Leonard soon drifts back to sleep, fingers still in Ray’s hair, and one final thought of, _I am fucked_.

 

[...]

 

Leonard doesn’t know what time it is, but there’s sunshine peaking through the cracks of Ray’s window blinds.

 

He feels a warm weight half on him, and then lips on his neck. The lips place sweet kisses down Leonard’s neck, and he feels the owner of those lips nuzzle into his skin. Leonard hums, craning his neck, allowing for better access. Suddenly the weight is fully on top of him, and he feels legs tangling with his. The kisses don’t stop, and then there are lips on Leonard’s.

 

He breathes into the kiss, and he feels hands grip his shirt. He moves his hands up to hold the kisser’s face, pulling him in, holding him there. He feels the body grind against him, feeling something firm press against his hip, and he gasps, allowing the other person to slip their tongue into Leonard’s mouth. The kiss is slow and sweet, an exploration of tongues and a mingling of breath, their bodies moving like waves, crashing into one another.

 

“ _Leonard_ ,” Ray moans against Leonard’s mouth.

 

_Raymond_.

 

Raymond?

 

Leonard’s eyes snap open.

 

“Raymond!” he yelps, immediately shoving Ray off of him. Ray startles awake and falls from his bed to the floor.

 

“Wha-” Ray says, dazed, barely coming out of his slumber.

 

“What are you doing?” Leonard practically shrieks.

 

“I - what?” Ray says, still on the floor. He shakes his head and blinks a few times. Realization seems to hit him, and he’s scrambling to get up. “Oh, my god! Leonard, I am so sorry, I just - I didn’t -”

 

“What the hell, Raymond?” Leonard growls. His mind is still foggy with sleep, but he’s aware of what just happened.

 

Ray was just kissing him, grinding against him, _moaning his name_. It’s Leonard’s dream, being held, and touched, and caressed by Ray, but right now it feels like a nightmare.

 

“Leonard, I’m sorry, I didn’t know!” Ray says, frantically. “I’m a sleep cuddler -”

 

“You were _kissing me_ , and humping my god damn leg, for fuck’s sakes,” Leonard hisses, not caring how loud he’s being, not caring how harsh he sounds.

 

It had felt so good, so natural, waking up to Raymond kissing him senseless. It felt like fireworks exploding behind Leonard’s eyelids, and a flame being lit in his chest. He felt heat curl in his belly, and move down between his legs. It felt like bliss.

 

And now he was freaking the fuck out, and yelling at Raymond like it was his fault. He can’t stop himself.

 

“You can’t do that, Raymond,” Leonard says, rushing out of bed.

 

“Leonard, I’m sorry, it was a mistake -”

 

“You’re damn right it was a mistake!” Leonard says. “This whole thing was a mistake! I never should’ve agreed to this, I never should’ve gone along with this lie.”

 

Ray is just standing there, staring at Leonard with wide eyes.

 

“This was just supposed to be pretend, this wasn’t supposed to happen,” Leonard says, pacing the room.

 

Ray finally moves and comes over to Leonard. He tries to place his hands on Leonard’s shoulder, to grab his attention, but Leonard flinches.

 

“Don’t touch me!” Leonard yells, and immediately regrets it.

 

Ray gasps, staggering back as if he’d just been hit.

 

Leonard can’t do this, he can’t be here right now. He feels like he’s suffocating, like the walls are closing in around him. He curses and runs out into the living room. He makes for the door, slipping on his shoes by the door, and grabbing his keys. He catches something out of the corner of his eye.

 

Felicity. She’s standing there, holding a glass of water, eyes wide in shock. Leonard just shakes his head and runs out the door.

 

He climbs into his car, but before turning it on, he grips the steering wheel and shakes it. Then he thumps the dashboard, hard. He does it again, and again, until he hits the car horn by accident, startling himself.

 

He pauses for a moment, recounting what just happened.

 

Raymond was just kissing him, fully, with so much want. Leonard got sucked in, reciprocating with just as much enthusiasm. They were wrapped up in each other, in a blissful, sleepy heap, moving against each other.

 

Raymond moaned Leonard’s name.

 

This was all a mistake, and now it’s ruined, because Leonard had to go and have feelings for Raymond. Because Leonard wants nothing more than to rewind and go back five minutes, so he can continue kissing Raymond, continue holding him, touching him. No, he can’t, won’t, never could.

 

Raymond is lonely, starved for affection, Leonard knows that much, and, _fuck_ , he wants to shower Raymond with it. He wants to hold Raymond, and tell him how much he means to him, how much he matters. Leonard wants to chase away those nightmares, kiss away that fear, tell Raymond that everything is fine now, because Leonard is there, and he isn’t going anywhere.

 

Instead, Leonard sits in his car, and panics. He’s fucked it up, because _he’s_ fucked up. If he thought he didn’t deserve Ray before, he is damn sure of it now. How can he look Raymond in the eye now? After he just lashed out at him.

 

Kind, gentle, wouldn’t hurt a fly Raymond. Leonard yelled, _God_ , he yelled at the man. Ray looked so hurt. Leonard would throttle himself if he could.

 

Leonard realizes he’s hyperventilating and tries to calm himself down. Once he gets his breathing under control, he turns the key in the ignition, and drives off.

 

[...]

 

Ray stands there, in the middle of his room, reeling. He had done that, he had climbed all over Leonard, kissed him in his sleep. Raymond feels dirty, he feels like he just invaded Leonard’s privacy. He feels wrong.

 

He hears a soft knocking on his door and his eyes snap to it, seeing Felicity, still in his oversized t-shirt.

 

“Hey,” she says softly.

 

“Did you hear all that?” Ray chokes out. Felicity nods, and Ray feels his eyes well.  
  
She takes notice and crosses the gap between them, wrapping her arms around his torso. He presses his face to the top of her head, letting a few tears soak into her blond hair. She rubs soothing circles on his back, and lets him cry.

 

“Come on,” she says, once he’s calmed down. “We need to talk.” She grabs his hand and leads him to the living room.

 

“Where’s Oliver?” Ray asks, his voice sounding rough.

 

“He had some business his father wanted him to tend to while he was here, so he left early,” she says. “He wasn’t around to hear anything.”

 

They sit on the sofa, Ray curling in on himself with Felicity still holding his hand.

 

“So,” she starts, “you wanna tell me why you lied to me?”

 

Ray’s eye fly up to meet Felicity’s.

 

“I - what do you - I mean -” Ray babbles, but Felicity just smiles, kind and supportive. The same way Leonard had smiled at him, the night they went to dinner. Ray lets out a deep breath. “How long have you known?”

 

“Honestly? I had a feeling when you told me over the phone,’ she says. “You’re a terrible liar.”

 

Ray can’t help but chuckle at that.

 

“But I saw you two at dinner, and I thought, maybe I’m wrong,” she continues, and Ray eyes her. “You really haven’t noticed, have you?”

 

“Noticed…?” Ray says.

 

“The way he looks at you,” Felicity says, “like no one else exists in the world. I saw that at dinner, when you were telling that story. Was any of that true, by the way?”

 

“Every word,” Ray says. “Scout’s honor.”

 

“Wow,” she says, sounding amazed. “Well, as much as I saw him admiring you, I saw the same thing coming from you last night.”

 

Ray feels his face drop slightly.

 

“W-What do you mean?” Ray stammers.

 

“Terrible, _terrible_ liar,” Felicity teases.

 

Ray blushes, and has the decency to look like he’s been caught.

 

“Why did you lie to me?” she asks.

 

“I just wanted you to know I’ve moved on,” Ray admits.

 

“Have you?” Ray looks at the woman in front of him. Sweet, brilliant, beautiful Felicity. He glances at the ring on her finger, and then looks back at her. “Have you moved on from me to someone else?”

 

Ray knows what she’s asking, but he doesn’t know how to answer, not after what just happened.

 

“I thought I did. At dinner, I thought that maybe I was capable of wanting someone else, _loving_ someone else,” Ray says, almost whispers. “But now?” He lets out a watery laugh. “Oh, _God_ , Leonard hates me, now.” He drops his head into his hands and sniffs.

 

“He doesn’t hate you,” Felicity says, placing a hand on his back, rubbing gently.

 

“Didn’t you hear him?” Ray asks, looking up at her with red rimmed eyes. “He was furious. All because I had to feel something for him, so deeply, that even in my sleep I couldn’t control myself.”

 

“What I heard was one idiot having a major freak out, lashing out at another idiot, who is too oblivious to realize how much that idiot loves him,” Felicity states, matter-of-factly. “You should’ve seen him when he ran out of here, Ray. It wasn’t hatred in his eyes, it was panic and regret.”

 

Ray stares at his hands, trying to recall what had happened not five minutes ago. Leonard was responsive, kissing him back, gripping him just as tight as Ray had been doing to Leonard. He goes back to dinner, back to the evening prior. The intimate touches, and affections shared between them. It had all been to paint a picture for Felicity and Oliver, but it turned into so much more.

 

Ray thinks about how he searched for pictures to place in frames, hoping to find a few here and there. He found more than enough, more than he thought he would. So many photos, where they look happy and close. Ray’s head spins, putting pieces together. He doesn’t know when he started falling, but suddenly he’s hit the ground, and Leonard isn’t there to catch him. Ray can’t believe that, in such a small amount of time, both their worlds were flipped.

 

“God, Felicity,” Ray says, damn near choking on his words. “I _love_ him.”

 

“You don’t say?” she says, a smile on her lips.

 

“What do I do?” Ray asks. “I have no idea where he’s gone, he left his phone behind, so I can’t call him. Not that I think he would pick up.”

 

“He’ll come back, don’t worry,” she says, grabbing his hand, giving it a squeeze. “He’s freaked out, but I have a feeling he’ll always come back to you.”

 

Ray leans back into the sofa, closing his eyes.

 

_God, I hope so_.

 

[...]

 

“Mick, open up!” Leonard yells, banging on the door. “Open the goddamn door!”

 

An elderly woman opens her door, and shushes Leonard. He turns to look at her, but doesn’t say anything. He’s about to start banging on the door again, when it swings open. He’s being pulled in, roughly, by his shirt.

 

“What is your problem?” Mick hisses, closing the door behind him. “What are you wearing?”

 

“It’s Raymond’s,” Leonard rushes out, immediately pacing the floor.

 

“Why are you wearing Ray’s clothes?” Mick asks.

 

“We slept together last night,” Leonard blurts. Upon seeing the look on Mick’s face he back pedals. “No, we just shared a bed, look -” He pauses to take a breath.

 

“What is going on?” Nate says, emerging from the hallway. He’s rubbing sleep from his eyes, trying to glare at whoever is making all the noise.

 

“Felicity and Oliver stayed the night, I had to share a bed with Raymond, and this morning I woke up with him all over me,” Leonard says, rapidly. He stalks over to the couch and drops down onto it, holding his head in his hands.

 

Nate looks between Mick and Leonard. “I’m confused -”

 

“Surprise, surprise,” Leonard mumbles into his hands.

 

“Isn’t that like, endgame?” Nate asks, ignoring Leonard’s jab. “Don’t you want him to be all over you?”

 

“I freaked out on him,” Leonard says, suddenly feeling exhausted. “I _lashed out_ at him. Yelled at him, told him everything was a mistake.” He looks up to see Mick and Nate just staring at him.

 

“Then you just ran out of there,” Mick states, doesn’t ask. “With your tail between your legs.”

 

This pulls a glare from Leonard, but Mick just chuckles and takes a seat on the recliner next to the sofa. Nate follows, still trying to shake the sleep from his mind, and crawls onto Mick’s lap. Mick wraps an arm around Nate’s waist, holding him there. Leonard feels a pang of something in his gut. _Envy_.

 

“You’re an idiot, Snart,” Mick says. “Why can’t you just let yourself be happy?”

 

“ _Happy_ ? Do I look _happy_ to you?” Leonard snaps.

 

“Well, not right now, but when you’re with Ray? Yeah, you look pretty damn happy,” Nate chimes in. “Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

 

“No, Nathaniel, please, enlighten me,” Leonard drawls.

 

Nate rolls his eyes, but continues. “Seriously, dude, Ray looks at you like the sun shines out of your ass, and he talks about like you’ve solved world hunger. It’s almost all he talks about when we go to the gym.” Nate scoffs, and starts mocking Ray, “ _Leonard’s so smart, Leonard took me here, he took me there, Leonard agreed to be my stupid boyfriend and_ -” Nate gets pillow to the face, courtesy of Leonard.

 

“Hey,” Mick says, tossing the pillow back onto the couch. “It’s not Nate’s fault you’re a dumbass.”

 

Leonard scowls, but doesn’t argue.

 

He stares up at the ceiling, and lets his body sink into the cushions.

 

“You should’ve seen the look on his face,” Leonard says, miserably. “He was so hurt. _I hurt him_. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do.”

 

Leonard replays the image in his head, of how shocked Ray had been when Leonard flinched away from him. How crushed he looked when Leonard yelled not to touch him. And he just left Ray standing there, alone.

 

Not alone. Felicity was there.

 

“Shit,” Leonard says, sitting up straight. “I blew it for him. I lost control, Felicity was there, and now she probably knows it was all an act.”

 

“An act, right,” Mick smirks.

 

“Mick,” Leonard warns. He doesn’t have the energy for this, he just wants to freak out at his best friend.

 

But Mick has other plans.

 

“Listen,” Mick says, “You need to get your shit together. You’re lucky Ray even puts up with you.”

 

Leonard glares at him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

 

“I lived with you for 7 years, hell, I’ve known you since we were 14,” Mick says. “I know how you are. You can be a selfish asshole, a real pain in the ass -”

 

_“Mick_ ,” Leonard warns again.

 

“But you know what else? You are loyal, and when you manage to let yourself love, you love with everything you’ve got. When you care about someone, there is nothing you wouldn’t do for them. I see that when I see you with Ray. He brings out the best in you, so maybe give him a god damn chance. He deserves that much.”

 

“He deserves better,” Leonard spits out.

 

“And that’s not you, right?” Mick mocks. “Not the man who decided to _move out_ of this apartment so he could help _a lost puppy, with big brown eyes_ \- your words.” Leonard doesn’t say anything, can’t think of anything fitting. “Make a decision, _Leonard_. You either spend the rest of your life pining for him, or you do something about it.”

 

Leonard shakes his head. “I’m not even sure I can go back there. I wouldn’t be surprised if Raymond didn’t want to see me ever again.”

 

“Okay, enough with the drama,” Mick and Nate roll their eyes. Nate gets up from Mick’s lap and walks to the kitchen.

 

“Do you even _know_ Ray, Leonard?” Nate asks, boldly.

 

“Nathaniel, I swear -”

 

“Because if you did, you’d know that he would do anything for you, even forgive you for being an ass,” Nate says, grabbing a bowl to fill it with cereal. “He’s always gonna want you to come home, dude.”

 

Leonard doesn’t want to admit that Nate’s words hit him hard, if only because the man still calls him _dude_ , but he’s right. Raymond is so forgiving, and he will always welcome Leonard home with open arms. And that makes Leonard’s heart ache. Raymond would forgive Leonard for blowing up at him this morning, and he would blame himself somehow.

 

Leonard has to fix this.

 

“I have to go,” Leonard says, getting up from the sofa.

 

He makes a beeline for the door, and is out of the apartment without a single word.

 

He’s determined as he flies down the stairs and out of the complex, gets in his car, and drives back to his apartment. Once he’s parked in front of his building, though, he sags into his seat. Everything is catching up to him, and he feels something drape over him like a thick blanket. _Shame._

 

He sits in his car for who knows how long, but soon he notices someone come out of his apartment complex. A small, blond someone.

 

“Fuck,” Leonard says. She knocks on the passenger window, and he, of course, rolls it down.

 

“Hi,” she says.

 

He offers her a tight smile.

 

“So, this morning sure was something.” She looks sympathetic and Leonard can't handle it.

 

“How is he?” he asks instead.

 

“He and Oliver are having a talk,” she says, avoiding giving him a straight answer.

 

He nods, unsure if he's grateful or disappointed for Felicity sidestepping the question.

 

“It's not too late, you know?” she says. “He's up there beating himself up, but he's been worried since you left. You forgot your phone and he couldn't reach you.”

 

Leonard’s chest feels tights, and the shame and guilt settle in his belly.

 

He doesn't get to say anything because Oliver is walking out of the gate, a small smile on his face. He comes up and slides his arm around Felicity’s waist.

 

“You should probably go up there,” he says. “He's ready to file a missing person report.”

 

Leonard swallows and nods again.

 

“Just give him a chance,” Felicity says, and they both walk away with a short goodbye.

 

Leonard sits in the car for five more minutes, gathering his breath. He finally pulls it together and walks up to the apartment.

 

Pushing the door open, he can hear movement coming from the kitchen. Leonard takes a deep breath and walks the rest of the way inside.

 

Ray emerges from the kitchen and freezes. He stares at Leonard and he looks like he's about to move forward, but he catches himself.

 

“Hi,” Ray says instead.

 

“Hi,” Leonard responds.

 

They stand there, a few feet apart, but miles from each other.

 

“We should probably talk,” Leonard says boldly.

 

Ray continues to stare at Leonard, so Leonard just walks to the living room. Ray joins him, but stops once he's at the couch, not sure if he should sit. Leonard does the only thing he can think of to reassure Ray. He gives him a small smile, and pats the sofa, signaling for Ray to sit.

 

Ray does, but keeps his distance, and Leonard wants to grab him and pull him closer.

 

“Raymond -”

 

“I am so, _so_ sorry, Leonard,” Ray says. “I would never, _ever_ do that without your consent.” There's a frantic desperation in Ray's eyes, and Leonard will not let Ray think this is on him.

 

“I know,” Leonard says. “I know you'd never - you were asleep, you weren't aware of what you were doing.” When Ray doesn't look at him or say anything, Leonard adds, “I'm not mad at you.”

 

That makes Ray look at him, and Leonard turns his body towards Ray, and reaches out, wanting to take Ray's hand in his own. He stops halfway, resting his hand on the cushion between them, his fingers twitching.

 

Ray, with some new found confidence, turns and crosses the distance between them with his own hand, grabbing Leonard's, lacing their fingers together.

 

“Is this okay?” Ray asks, almost whispers.

 

“Yeah,” Leonard says. “I freaked out, I lashed out at you, God, Raymond, I’m sorry.” Leonard means to stop there, but the words keep coming. “I fucked up because _I'm_ fucked up. I lashed out because you were there, kissing me, and it felt so good. I didn't know how to react, so because I'm a giant mess, I lashed out and hurt you.”

 

The words tumble from his mouth, flying to fill the quiet room.

 

“I was scared. This whole week just messed me up more than I already am,” Leonard says. He pauses, takes a deep breath, feeling his heart pound so hard it might just break free from his chest. “Because I wanted it to be _real_.”

 

Leonard pulls his hand away, but Ray is quick to snatch it back. He scoots closer while tugging Leonard towards him. Leonard doesn't resist, let Raymond pull him into his arms. Leonard immediately wraps his arms around Ray’s neck, burying his head there. Ray's arms slip around Leonard’s waist.

 

“Raymond,” Leonard croaks.

 

“I know, Leonard, I know,” Ray whispers in Leonard’s ear. “ _Me too_.”

 

Leonard pulls back, looking into Ray's eyes, searching. For what? Reassurance? Maybe.

 

He leans in just enough, his lips a hair's breath from Ray's. Ray doesn't let a moment go by, he closes the small distance, pressing their lips together. It's soft and gentle, completely contrary to the kiss they shared in bed earlier that morning.

 

Leonard sighs into the kiss, bringing his hand to Ray's neck, sliding it further up so he can thread his fingers in Ray's soft hair. He shifts, pulling his legs up and underneath him, kneeling in front of Ray.

 

Ray responds by sliding so he's leaning back against the sofa arm, pulling Leonard on top of him. Leonard steadies himself by grabbing hold of the arms and gripping Ray's hip, and he slots himself right in between Ray’s legs,

 

Ray licks at Leonard’s lips, asking Leonard to let him in. Leonard does, parting his lips, letting Ray slip his tongue inside. When Ray sucks on his tongue, Leonard moans into Ray's mouth, arousal curling low in Leonard’s belly at the sudden boldness of Ray’s actions.

 

Ray starts sliding his hands up and down Leonards sides, soothingly. He slips his hands under Leonards shirt, but Leonard’s hand quickly clutches at Ray's, pulling back from the kiss.

 

“Sorry, sorry,” Ray says breathlessly. “I shouldn't have -”

 

“It's okay, it's okay,” Leonard forces out. He doesn't want to freak out again, doesn't want Ray to freak out.

 

Leonard leans back, still holding Ray’s hand, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs over the top of Ray's hand.

 

“It's okay, I just...” Leonard breaths out. “No one’s touched me in a while, and since the last time I have… acquired some extra padding.”

 

“You -”

 

“I'm pudgy,” Leonard says. He leans further back, but Ray is repositioning himself, sitting up. Ray places his hands on Leonard’s thighs, and smiles at him.

 

“Hey, it's okay,” Ray says. “It's great, actually.”

 

Leonard eyes him suspiciously “It is?”

 

“Yeah, I love it,” Ray squeezes Leonard’s thighs. “It's a good thing, Leonard.”

 

Leonard swallows the lump in his throat the sudden surge of emotion. It's not that Leonard hates his body, but to have someone who looks like Ray say he loves that Leonard is a bit softer in the middle makes him warm all over.

 

“May I?” Ray asks, sliding his hands up Leonard's thigh to his sides.

 

Leonard hesitates, but realizes this is Raymond. He can trust him, he's safe with him. Leonard is aching for Raymond's hands on him, so he nods.

 

“Yes,” he says.

 

Ray slips his hands under Leonard’s shirt, slowly, and Leonard shutters at Ray’s warmth, shivers at how gentle Ray is as he smooths his thumbs over the plush flesh on Leonard's hips. Ray moves his hands a bit further up, rucking Leonard's shirt up slightly, exposing a bit of pudge at Leonard’s abdomen.

 

“Not that far,” Leonard says quickly. Ray pulls his hands back, but Leonard shakes his head. “It's fine, let's just slow down. I trust you, Raymond, but it's a bit much right now.”

 

Ray pulls Leonard towards him, scooting back to sit against the arm of the sofa. Leonard falls forward, fitting between Ray’s thighs. He rests his head right under Ray's neck, nuzzling him.

 

“We can take all the time you need,” Ray says softly, a hand resting on the back of Leonard's neck. “I'm here, I'm not going anywhere.”

 

Leonard sighs through his nose. Here he was, thinking that those were words _he_ would be saying to Raymond. Hearing them from Ray grounds Leonard, and he knows Ray means it. He isn't going anywhere. The least Leonard can do is promise Ray the same thing.

 

“I'm not either,” Leonard says softly. He places a kiss to Ray's chin. “You're stuck with me.”

 

Ray huffs out a small laugh, and kisses Leonard’s forehead.

 

“Good, because trying to find a new roommate sounds like a hassle,” Ray jokes, pulling a laugh from Leonard.

 

“We’re both idiots, aren't we?” Leonard asks.

 

“That's what Felicity says,” Ray answers. “Oh, she knew the entire time, by the way. Oliver, too.”

 

Leonard groans against Ray's skin. “ Of course she did.”

 

“She also said if we work this out, she'll see us at the wedding,” Ray adds.

 

“You sure we won't break up by then?” Leonard teases.

 

Ray grabs Leonard's chin, tilting his head up.

 

“I'm not planning on it,” he says gently. “I mean it, I'm not going anywhere.”

 

Leonard moves in, kissing Ray, lifting his hand to cup Ray’s cheek.

 

“I've wanted this for so long,” Leonard admits, allowing the vulnerability he's denied himself his entire life to carry his words. “I've wanted _you_ for so long.”

 

“You have me,” Ray says, smiling.

 

Leonard's heart soars, the guilt and shame and fear falling from it. He doesn't know what Ray sees in him, but maybe he can learn to, as long as Ray continues having faith in him.

 

With the way Ray is looking at Leonard, like the mere sight brings him happiness, Leonard knows he can.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guess what? I love Fake Dating AUs.  
> Every time I read one, I get stronger.
> 
> Come on over to [bottomraypalmer](https://bottomraypalmer.tumblr.com), and we can talk about how in love these two are.


End file.
